Riah boy,
You haven’t been mine for long, but I want to know you more
than words can express. The moment you
started to grow inside me, I knew you… I wanted nothing more than to care for
you. I gladly provide you with whatever
you need. I even give you things that
you things you want, but don’t need, all because I love you more than you know.
I made sacrifices to have you. I endured pain. I chose to care for you over
monetarily providing for our family. I
often feel like your life consumes mine…but I have no regrets. Your well-being and upbringing is my purpose.
I want to teach you all that I can and show you unconditional love.
I sit here watching
you, amazed…speechless. Every move you
make intrigues me. You live in a state
of curiosity. Everything in your world
is new and exciting! I watch you explore your surroundings, always moving from
one thing to another.
Something catches your eye.
You move towards it only to be scorned by my gentle voice telling you
“no”. You hear me, but you continue on
your path…eager, excited. I watch as the
forbidden object hurts you. You fall to
the ground, tears in your eyes. You see
me in the distance and come crawling towards the one who gives you
security. I, feeling overwhelmed with
sadness by your pain, comfort and love you, wishing you would have listened and
obeyed to avoid this moment. I press on,
hoping you have learned from your mistake and will choose to listen to me in
future circumstances.
You, my child, will always be loved by me. You may hurt me sometimes, or even turn your
back on me, but my love for you will not change. You bring be so much joy! When you come to me
with open arms, my heart is overwhelmed with gladness! I want to be your
shoulder to cry on, your voice of reason in times of trouble, and your cheerleader
in moments of victory!
Mama
My mom wrote me a journal when she was diagnosed with
cancer, and it has now become a precious keepsake. I wanted to start something similar for Riah
that told his birth story and certain lessons I have learned through raising him. I was watching him play a few days ago and decided
to write him my thought in this letter to show him how much I enjoy being his
mother. As I was writing, I realized how
much little Riah and I have in common. I
too am much like an infant with God as my Father. I am always learning, sometimes hurting
myself along the way. I can never truly
understand the level of love God has for me, but every time a little bit is
uncovered, I want to run to him and feel His security.
Being a mom is not always easy, but it has certainly taught me a lot about my God. There are so many similarities, it’s often mind blowing! I know I love Riah so much and would do anything for him—but it just scratches the surface of how selflessly God loves us! I have become much more thankful for Him over the last 10 months. I’m certainly looking forward to Him guiding me to be the best mother I can be over the life of all my children.
Being a mom is not always easy, but it has certainly taught me a lot about my God. There are so many similarities, it’s often mind blowing! I know I love Riah so much and would do anything for him—but it just scratches the surface of how selflessly God loves us! I have become much more thankful for Him over the last 10 months. I’m certainly looking forward to Him guiding me to be the best mother I can be over the life of all my children.