Letters

Riah boy,

You haven’t been mine for long, but I want to know you more than words can express.  The moment you started to grow inside me, I knew you… I wanted nothing more than to care for you.  I gladly provide you with whatever you need.  I even give you things that you things you want, but don’t need, all because I love you more than you know.

I made sacrifices to have you.  I endured pain. I chose to care for you over monetarily providing for our family.  I often feel like your life consumes mine…but I have no regrets.  Your well-being and upbringing is my purpose. I want to teach you all that I can and show you unconditional love.

  I sit here watching you, amazed…speechless.  Every move you make intrigues me.  You live in a state of curiosity.  Everything in your world is new and exciting! I watch you explore your surroundings, always moving from one thing to another. 

Something catches your eye.  You move towards it only to be scorned by my gentle voice telling you “no”.  You hear me, but you continue on your path…eager, excited.  I watch as the forbidden object hurts you.  You fall to the ground, tears in your eyes.  You see me in the distance and come crawling towards the one who gives you security.  I, feeling overwhelmed with sadness by your pain, comfort and love you, wishing you would have listened and obeyed to avoid this moment.  I press on, hoping you have learned from your mistake and will choose to listen to me in future circumstances.

You, my child, will always be loved by me.  You may hurt me sometimes, or even turn your back on me, but my love for you will not change.  You bring be so much joy! When you come to me with open arms, my heart is overwhelmed with gladness! I want to be your shoulder to cry on, your voice of reason in times of trouble, and your cheerleader in moments of victory!

Mama

My mom wrote me a journal when she was diagnosed with cancer, and it has now become a precious keepsake.  I wanted to start something similar for Riah that told his birth story and certain lessons I have learned through raising him.  I was watching him play a few days ago and decided to write him my thought in this letter to show him how much I enjoy being his mother.  As I was writing, I realized how much little Riah and I have in common.  I too am much like an infant with God as my Father.  I am always learning, sometimes hurting myself along the way.  I can never truly understand the level of love God has for me, but every time a little bit is uncovered, I want to run to him and feel His security. 

Being a mom is not always easy, but it has certainly taught me a lot about my God.  There are so many similarities, it’s often mind blowing! I know I love Riah so much and would do anything for him—but it just scratches the surface of how selflessly God loves us!  I have become much more thankful for Him over the last 10 months.  I’m certainly looking forward to Him guiding me to be the best mother I can be over the life of all my children.